The Legend of Zelda the Minish Parody!

Cyclone Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:46 pm

I did not write this. It was written by Hyrulegirl9 wherever she may be.

GAMEBOY
(Nintendo)

(Nintendo)
CAPCOM

Music starts playing and a sword
appears on screen, then flashes.
THE LEGEND
OF
ZELDA
The Minish's
Parody.
PRESS
START.

More music starts
playing.

CHOOSE A
FILE.
1.>______
2.>______
3.>______

ENTER A
NAME
>Link_____
a b c d e f g h i j k l m
n o p q r s t u v w x y
z
' - : ! ? , . ( ) _ + = /
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
ABC abc <---
END

-prologue-

Narrator: *cough*Hemhem! "Long, long ago,
monsters went around eating chicken wings from KFC. Until one day, the bananas
asked the all powerful gods for a Dell PC with a flat screen and a Pentium 4
processor, but instead their gods sent their elves to mindcontrol all of the
coconut's tennis shoes....what a second....THIS IS THE WRONG
BOOK!!!!"

-please stand
by----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: "Okay, so the
monsters liked to play Mario Party every day and.....THIS IS THE WRONG BOOK, TOO!!!!
WHO KEEPS GIVING ME THE WRONG BOOK??? Was it you, Bill the props
guy?"

Bill the props guy: "umm.....maybe...."

Narrator:
"GIVE ME BACK MY BOOK
YOU LITTLE"

-please stand
by-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: "Okay, this time I have
it for sure! So, monsters roamed the lands of Hyrule, attacking and destroying
anything or anyone that they pleased. Many Hyrulians were living in fear, hoping
that they wouldn't be eaten or anything. Then one day, a really small creature
known as a Picori gave a powerful blade to a child, who would would soon become
a hero by slaying most of the monsters and then sealing the rest away into a
chest. Ever since then, festivals have been held each year to celebrate that
day. Also, the Picori all have seemed to disappear. However, legend has it that
every 100 years, a door will open and the Picori can be seen
again.

-chapter
1: Not So Humble Beginings-

At Smith's house(coincidentally
100 years after the last reported Picori sightings)

Zelda walks to
Smith's house and knocks on the door. Smith opens the door just enough to speak
to the person on the other side.

Smith: "I ALREADY TOLD YOU! I DONT WANT
ANY OF YOUR CHEAP VACCUMS FROM WALLAWALLA WASHINGTON OR THE HOOVER
COMPANY!"

Smith
then sees who he is talking to.

Smith: "Oh, hi there princess who always
somehow gets captured, dissapears misteriously, or something else so that it
cant possibly happen again this time around! Come on in!"

Zelda: "Hi
Smith, do you know where Link is? I want him to go with me to the Picori
festival!"

Smith: "That pathetically lame excuse for a hero is still
asleep upstairs. But dont worrie, I will wake him
up"

Upstairs...

Smith yelling: "LINK!! WAKE UP YOU LAZY BUM,
PRINCESS ZELDA IS HERE TO SEE YOU!!!!

Link drowzily: ".........Sleep now,
Zelda later......."

Smith: "You'll get 20000 rupies!"

Link:
"OK!!!"

Link goes down stairs and goes into the room where Smith and
Zelda are.

Link: "Where are thoes rupies that you promised
me?"

Smith: "I didnt say I would GIVE THEM to you."

Link:
"Awww.......HEY!!! Its Zelda!!!! Hello there princess who I love so I stalk you
and when you arent looking take pictographs.........wait, scratch
that.

Smith: "Less talk, more going to the stupid festival that I am
obviously too busy to go to."

Link: "WAIT!!! YOUR SAYING THAT WAS
TODAY??? I knew I should have checked my Princess Zelda Calender."

Zelda:
"I have a calender?"

Link: " ummmmm....why would you think that I created
a calender of you and sold it on the internet?

Smith: "Which reminds me,
Link, give this sword to the minister so that the champion of the tournament can
"touch" it. Even though many people(including some LoZ fans) belive that the
champion should have been you, but you arent because you were TOO LAZY TO GET OUT OF BED THIS
MORNING!!!!!"

Link: "How did me talking about
the swimsuit edition of the Princess Zelda calender that can be bought on the
internet for $29.95 remind you of a sword?"

Smith: "I dont know, ask the
co-writer!"

Hyrulegirl9: "Well, it seems to happen to me
alot...."

Zelda: "Well, now that I know Im being stalked and have secret
swimsuit edition calenders made from my stalker's pictograph's of me, all I can
say is...........
LETS GO TO THE PICORI
FESTIVAL!!!!"

TO BE
CONTINUED.......

Cyclone Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:58 pm

Chapter 2: The
Kung-Fool

Link and Zelda arrive at
the festival.

Zelda: "Oh My gosh! There are so many things that they are
selling here that I could probably get any day of my life! HEY LOOK! There is a
raffle too!"

Link: "I wonder who will win."

Raffle guy: "Lets
see...the winner is PRINCESS ZELDA, BECAUSE IM AFRAID
OF LOOSING MY JOB!!!!
Now you can choose two out of four prizes: A heart piece, a red rupee, a
tiny shield, and a karate
suit with a guy who follows you around playing a continuous loop of the song
"Kung Fu Fighting"! Which will it be?"

Zelda: "I would be a fool if I
didn't pick the karate outfit, so will take that and the tiny shield!

Raffle guy: "WHAT?
But what about the other two? Why do you want the shield?"

Zelda:
"I'VE MADE MY
CHOICE, PEON!!!!!!!"
Raffle guy:
"......okay...."

Zelda: "Here Link, you can have this! NOW YOU
CAN BE MY SERVANT FOR ALL OF OUR LIVES!!!!!!"

Link blushing:
"Awwwwwwwww, you didn't have too...."

Text: "You've got the tiny shield! Now you can defend from
attacks using this shield that barely covers your head!"
----
Later,
outside Hyrule Castle

Zelda: "Who in the good name of our Boombox Guy is
that?"

Link: "It's some guy called the "TattleTale Strangler". I tattled
on him yesterday for littering near the pretty castle. It was too beautiful for
polluting."

Strangler: "AND NOW YOUR GONNA GET YOURS,
TATTLETALE!!!!"

Zelda jumps in front of
Link.

Zelda: "NOT IF I, ZELDA: WARRIOR PRINCESS
HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!!!! RAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Strangler: "You
fight for him, fine. You just get the first punch!"

Link: "You would hit
a girl?"

Strangler: "Well, it IS in my manual."

Link: "Even if she
is the warrior princess, Im in love with her and..."

A random Japanese
anime sound goes off and their is a close up of Link's face.

Link: "...I
cant...let you...HARM HER!!!!!"

Link is now in the karate uniform and the
Boombox Guy pushes play on the boombox. HeartlessLink7
comes.

HeartlessLink7:
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

HeartlessLink7 then starts dancing
with the boombox guy.

Song: "Everybody was Kung Fu
fighting!"

Link: "HYAH!!!!"

Censorship executive(hired
by HyruleGirl9): All right you kids! This is Waaaaaay to violent and awsome for
us to show. HyruleGirl9 and her brother would get sued be Nintendo or
something......I think its over, lets check."

It then shows Link about to
kick the strangler in a certain place(use your imagination).

Censorship
executive: "OH HAVE
MERCY!!!!!.........Okay, it really is over now."

Link is now
standing near the strangler in his karate uniform. The strangler is now laying
on the ground very beat up and for some reason, missing his left
arm.

Strangler: "Okay! Okay! I give up!!*pants*........you can
pass....."

Zelda: "Wow Link...I never new you were capable of beating up
a man and making him lose his left arm in a matter of a minute and a half! I
guess your not as much of a pansy as Smith says you are!"

Link: "YAY!!!
IM NOT A PANSY!!! NOW I WILL DANCE BECAUSE I AM HAPPY!!!"

Link then
dances with HeartlessLink7 and the Boombox guy. Zelda sighs and shakes her head
in disappointment

J Box Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:50 am

This is the funniest post i have ever seen so far

Cyclone Sat Feb 16, 2008 2:46 am

Here is the next chapter!

Chapter 3: The Sword and the
Stones(part 1)

-At the
castle-

Minister: "Interesting! I see that you have finally arrived Link!
And interestingly, you have brought the Picori blade with you for the ceremony!
Yes, this is very interesting, indeed."

Link: "Can Zelda and I go now?
Your creeping me out with your "interestingness"."

Minister: "But I have
other interesting things that I can interest you with
interestingly!"

Link and Zelda:
"NOOOOO!!!!"

Minister: "Fine, your interesting
loss."

-courtyard-

The guards place the Picori Blade back into the
chest for the ceremony.

Minister: "Hey, Link, do you know what this
interesting object is?"

Link while raising his hand: "OOOHOOH!!! I KNOW I
KNOW!!! Its
the Picori Blade that was used in order to lock the chest and seal monsters
away! And now the champion of each tournament gets to touch
it!"

Nintendo: "Because touching is good!"

Zelda: "The only things
that Link passes in school is ancient Hyrule and swordsmanship. Other than that,
he is failing every other subject. They just pass him out of
pity."

-flashback-
Teacher: Ok, question number 4. Who wants to do
this one? How about you Link?"

Link: "Okay! Lets see........
7 times 5 is................12?"
-end flashback-

Link:
"Haha...good times...."

A mysterious person dressed in dark clothing
enters the courtyard.

Zelda: "Who is that?"

Zeldaru(person behind
her in the crowd): "Thats Vaati, the champion of the tournament. He did
suprisingly well for a kid. Link could have done better, though. But he had to
sleep.......LIKE A COWARD!!!!"

Link walks up to
Vaati.
Link: "So your the champion of the tournament?"

Vaati:
"Yes........"

Link: "Well, congratulations! You've won the chance to
touch the Picori Blade!!!!"

Nintendo: "BECAUSE TOUCHING IS
GOOD!!!!"
Vaati: "Hmmmm....you know, even though
someone's been taking care of it and cleaning it and keeps it fixed, it looks
like its been laying in the dumpster for the past 100 years."

Smith at
his house: "Huh? My "Stupid Kid Is Making Fun Of My Blacksmithing Talents"
senses are tingling!"

Vaati: "But anyway, make way people! NOW I SHALL
TAKE OUT THE SWORD AND OPEN THE CHEST!!!!!!"

Guards: "No way we will let
you touch that chest, Man!"

Vaati then waves his hands and the guards
explode(or whatever).

CreatorOfMajorasMask: "Oh no!!!! He just those
thoes guards in a non-gory way that Nintendo can actually put in a children's
game!"

Vaati: "I, as the champion, have the rights to touch that
sword!!!"

Nintendo(with a megaphone): "BECAUSE TOUCHING IS
GOOD!!!!!!!"

Vaati then uses more of that
magic stuff to break the Picori Blade in half.

Zelda then jumps in front
of the chest.

Zelda: "I, ZELDA: WARRIOR PRINCESS WILL
NOT LET YOU OPEN THIS CHEST!!!!!!!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Vaati: "SHUT UP YOU STUPID
PRINCESS, AND ALL SHALL FEEL MY WRATH FOR YOUR IGNORANCE!!!!!"

Vaati once
again uses magic.

Link: "EVERYONE!!!! HIT THE
DECK!!!!!!!"

everything goes into slow
motion as Link and all the people in the crowd jump to the ground.

Link:
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

Then everything
goes back to normal with motion, and everyone is fine except for Zelda and
unfortionetly, the Boombox Guy, who both turned to stone."

Link:
"NOOOO!!!!
ZELDA!!!!!!!!!"
Link starts to
cry.

UncleGoron: "NOOOOOO!!!!
BOOMBOXGUY!!!!!!!!!!"

Nafe: "HE WAS
SO........YOUNG!!!!!!!"

CuccooLegend: "AND SO
COOL!!!!"

ZeldaGirl4Evur: "But what about the princess? She was turned to
stone too!!!!"

UncleGoron: "Ummm...."

Nafe: "Her
too......"

CuccooLegend: "I guess...."

Vaati: "And now, to open
the chest!"
Vaati opens the chest and all kinds of monsters come out and fly
to different locations in Hyrule.
Vaati: "WHAT???? ITS NOT HERE!!!!! I MUST
FIND WHAT I DESIRE!!!!!"
Vaati leaves
(dramatically!)

Link then starts running around in a
circle then hits a statue and is unconscious unconcious.

Link10003: "Its
Links like that who give other Links a bad name...."

-later, inside the
castle-

Link sleeptalking: "No, Zelda......Vaati bad....Minister
"interesting"....."
Link then wakes up.
Link: "Phew! It was only a
dream!....Wait a second....Why am I in a bed in the castle??? Did I have too
much to drink again?"

The king of Hyrule comes into the room.
King of
Hyrule: "Hello Link. You finally woke up, I see."

Link: "Hey kingy. Did I
drink too much last night? And if so, what did I do to Zelda? I cant seem to
find her...she even turned to stone in my dream!!!

King: "That wasn't a
dream. Zelda and your Boombox Guy turned to stone and are now next to the royal
throne so that I can showcase them."

Link throwing his head into the air:
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

King: "But
that's why"

Link crying: "I MISS HER
ALREADY!!!!!!!!"

King: "Oh, stop
crying, you poor excuse for a hero. I need you to meet with me, your
grandfather, and the Interesting Minister in minutes minuts at the throne room.
We need to tell you about something."

Narrator: "What does the King need
to tell Link? Will Link have to go on another epic quest to save his
"girlfriend"? Will he stop being a pansy about everything? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT
CHAPTER!!!!"

Cyclone Sun Feb 17, 2008 2:30 am

Chapter 4: "you're Mission: Slightly With More Jeopardy"(AKA:The Sword and the Stones part 2) -notice- -This is one of the longest titles I have ever thought of.-

-The King has left the room and Link is to meet him at the throne room in 5. However, Link has no watch and he dosent know where the throne room is.-

Link: "I guess I will wait here until I think 5 minutes are up...."

Link looks around and finds a TV.

Link: "HEY! A TELEVISION!!!! Lets see what shows are on...."

He then turns it to Nickelodeon and the show SpongeBob Squarepants is on.

Link: "YAY!!! ITS SPONGEBOB!!! Everybody loves SpongeBob!"

SpongeBob: "I call this one..."The Campfire Song" Song.....Lets gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song...Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G-SONG!And"

Link: "YAY!!! This is one of my favorite episodes!

-10 minutes later-

Link: "I love to watch SpongeBob!"

A random Hyrulian walks in

Hyrulian122: "Hey, shouldn't you have been in the throne room like...5 minutes ago?"

Link: "OH NO!!!! THE KING IS GOING TO CHOP OFF MY HEAD OR SOMETHING ELSE THAT KINGS CAN DO!!!.....Umm....Where is the throne room again?"

Hyrulian122: "All the way down the hall. It takes like...2 minutes to get there."

Link: "Thanks!! BUT YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME TWO MINUTES AGO!!!"

Link takes off for the throne room at full speed.....which isn't very fast seeing as he dosent run much in his life...

-later at the throne room-

Link enters through the gimongous doors and sees the King, the Minister, and Smith near the throne looking very ticked. He also sees that on either side of the throne are statues, one of Zelda and one of the Boombox guy.

Smith: "YOU STUPID LAZY IDIOT WHO IS TIMELY IMPAIRED!!!! YOUR 7 MINUTES LATE TO MEET THE KING!!! IF WE DIDN'T NEED YOU, WE WOULD HAVE CHOPPED OFF YOUR HEAD OR SOMETHING BY NOW!!!!!"

Link: "Sorry.......its just.....SpongeBob was on............"

King: "Smith, its okay. Give the boy some slack."

Smith: "Right...Slack...ruzzlefuzzlerakinfrakinstupidkidrukadafrekuda"

King: "Anyway...Link, do you know why you are here?"

Link goes into deep thought and Jeopardy music starts to play.
-when the song ends-
Link: "What is....THE RING MUST BE DESTROYED?!?!?!?!"

Smith: "Link, you idiot, that's Lord of The Rings!"

Alex Trebek: "Oh, Im sorry Link, but that means you are incorrect! Now, lets see your wager..."

A piece of paper is removed, revealing 30,000 rupies.

Alex Trebek: "Oh, that's a lot to lose...But this means the winner is the King!"

Ken Jennings whispering to Alex: "I told you I knew the answer."

King: "Yay!.....I mean, LINK! STOP FOOLING AROUND, THIS IS SERIOUS! Do you know about the legend of the Picori Blade?"

Link: "Yes! First there were monsters and then a Picori gave some kid a sword and that kid used it to seal all of the monsters into that chest over there and from then on, we have had festivals celebrating the event and each year there is a tournament and the champion gets to touch the Blade!"

Nintendo outside the window with another megaphone: "BECAUSE TOUCHING IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!

King: "This guy is annoying me....Guards, take this guy to the gallows."

Nintendo guy: "Hey! Im going to the gallows! Do I get to touch the gallows? BECAUSE TOUCHING IS GOOD!!!"
Minister: "Now that that interestingly annoying Nintendo representative is going to the interesting Gallows, the King is going to brief you on your interesting quest!"

King: "So anyway, we are going to send you on a mission to"

Smith: "WAIT!!! So you're saying that Pansy Boy over here is going to be sent on a quest in order to get this sword reforged by little creatures that are so miniscule that noone can remember seeing them?"

King: "Uhhhh...yah..."

Smith: "And while doing so he has to protect himself from monsters that have just been released in to the world a few hours ago?"

Minister: "Interestingly correct, sir!

Smith: "And then he has to find a way to turn our precious "warrior" princess over there and their Boombox holding friend back to normal from being stone statues that you, the king, are now using for showcaseable items?"

King: "......Yes, you could say that..."

Smith thinking to himself: hmmm....no annoyance to bother me for who knows how long! It will be like a vacation!!! Ill just give him that sword that the King requested! Then he will be on his way and I will be free!!!!!!!!
Smith: "Here, Link! Take this sword so that you can.....destroy the monsters and umm.......wont get killed!"

text: "YOU GOT YOU'RE GRAMPA'S SWORD! Now you can ATTACK ANYTHING THAT STANDS IN YOUR WAY!!!!!....Oops, sorry, got a little carried away there...anyway, just press the button you assigned it to and you can attack monsters! However, you dont have any moves other than a horizontal slash because you dont have a target system! HAHAHAHAH!!! I mean...poor poor you...."

Link: "Awwwww, Grampa! You dont want me to die!!! You do care about me!!!"

Link goes in for a hug and Smith pushes him away.

Smith: "What are you kidding? I dont really care if you die! The King just paid me 50,000,000 rupies to make it and give it to you within an hour! Do you think I would pass up that chance?"

Link: "Oh....Hey, I still have one question! Why do I have to do it?"

King: "Because only children can see the Picori. You are the most qualified child in this town of slacking children. Its because of your swordsmanship grade. Plus, your clothes blend in with the forest, where you will find the Picori."

Link: "So they need their privacy too?"

Minister: "Interestingly, yes!"

King: "So Link, here is a map. All the places you've gone will be filled in as you get there, so you cant lose your way unless your going somewhere new, which now that I think of it isnt very helpfull....But now, YOU MUST VENTURE TO THE MINISH WOODS AND FIND A WAY TO REFORGE THE PICORI BLADE IN ORDER TO FIND A WAY TO "SAVE" ZELDA!!!"
text: "YOU GOT A MAP! Its not that helpfull because it dosent show you how to get to where your going!Isnt that the purpose of a map?"Link then goes to the statue of Zelda.

random text: "There is still life in her eyes."

Link: "That text is kind of kreepy.......PICTOGRAPH TIME!!!"

Link takes 50 pictographs of Zelda in different angles.

Link: "YES! YES! YES! NO! NO! NO! NO! YES! NO! YOUR A PRARIE DOG! DIG! DIG!"

Smith: "HEY STUPID! YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE GOING SO THAT I CAN FINALLY BE ALONE!!!"

Link: "Oops, sorry. Here, take this Pictograph Box and put it in my room for me, okay?"

Smith: "AS LONG AS IT MAKES YOU LEAVE FASTER!!!"

Link then starts to leave and about halfway down the hallway in the castle, the King yells something to him as if it were a movie.

King: "REMEMBER LINK! HYRULE, ZELDA, AND THE BOOMBOX GUY ALL DEPEND ON YOUR SUCCESS!!!!"

Link: "And so did my school's cheerleading team at the Hyrulian Cheerleading Contest Finals, but was I able to jump around in a giant pink Cucoo suit?"

Cyclone Sat Feb 23, 2008 2:19 am

Here is the next chapter!

CHAPTER 5: Two "Heads" Are Better Than One.

Link walks out of Hyrule town to South Hyrule field (near his house).

Link: "Okay, lets open the map...even though it only shows where I have been, it may tell me which way to go to get to where I am going!"

Link opens the map. The map shows Hyrule Castle, North Hyrule Field, South Hyrule Field, and to the East of South Hyrule Field there is a glowing spot.

Link: "Hmmm...a strange glowing spot...I wonder what it could mean ......................hmmmmmmmmm.................................Oh, wait a second! I know what it means! It means that if I go their, I will be teleported to wherever I want to go! Hmmm....I wonder if it can take me to a restaurant because im starving! Maybe I will go to Chello's, they always have good chicken and fries!....Or maybe that Macaroni place with the bread that can feed 9 people off one loaf..."

HyruleGirl9:"Um, Link....sorry to rain on your parade but that's not one of those fancy teleportation rings...Thats where the Minish Woods are."

Link: "Really?" he then looks at the map again."Hey, wait a second! This is just 5 minutes from my house! I cant believe that I never noticed it before!"

Link then walks a little farther and finds an octorok. It then looks right at him.

Link: "AWWWWW!!! SO CUTE!!!! In a way you sort of look like a shyguy from Mario games!"

The shyguy octorock then hears this remark and spits a rock at Link.

Link screaming like a girl: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I HAVE TO USE MY SHIELD!!!"

Even though the rock bounces off the shield, it does not hit the octorock.

Link: "HUUUHHH????? WHAT'S THE DEAL!?!?!?!? It always worked in other Zelda games! Why not now!!!!! Now lets see...how on Earth do I use this sword..."

Link then takes out his sword and holds it firmly in his left hand, which most people who played LoZ games before didnt notice until Wind Waker was almost out because they are all slow.

Link almost falling over: "OMYGOSH!!! THIS THING IS HEAVY!!! WHAT WAS GRAMPA THINKING!?!?!"

While Link talks to himself like a phycotic person about how the sword is to heavy for him to hold, the octorok spits out another rock and hits Link right in the face.

Link: "OOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!! THAT HURT!!! YOU MAY BE CUTE, BUT NOW YOU MUST DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

Link hits it 3 times and it disappears with a soft poof. Why cant I disappear with a soft poof?

Link: "Oh man! That was hard work! And now Im really hungry! If that octorok didnt disappear with a soft poof, I would have eaten it! But anyway...TO THE WOODS!"

Link then walks for about 5 minutes and enters the woods. In the woods, he sees more octorocks that also try to kill him.

Link: "Hey, other than all of the octorocks trying to kill me with boulders that they can spit out of their mouths, this place is kind of nice! It even makes me fell all warm and fuzzy inside!"

Link walks farther into the woods and finds green blobs.

Link: "Hey! Its those green chuchu things from my last gig! Wait a second....THAT MEANS JELLY!!!!"

Link then swallows the chuchus before they can attack him.

Link: "Mmmmmmmmm...chu jelly.....that was tasty...and now I dont have to pay for dinner!"

Link then finds a stump and sits on it to digest for a while.

Link: "Wait...this stump has a hole in it! Who knows what could be in their! I guess I will get going then..."

He then walks and finds two paths beyond a puddle. One is blocked, so he takes the other. He walks about 10 steps and finds a heart piece.

text: "You got a heart piece! If you know what this is, your normal! If not, your either not very smart or haven't played a Zelda game before! Collect 4 of these and get a new heart!"

Link: "All right! Hey wait...what's that over there?"

He walks to the area opposite where the heart piece was.

Link: "Hmmm...It sort of looks like a temple...except its only as large as my big toe...some kid must have left it there...oh well...I guess I will go back to the stump so I can think of what I have to do next!"

Link then arrives at the area with a stump and hears a voice screaming.

Voice: "HEEEEEELP!!! IM BEING ATTACKED BY THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE SEMI-DEMENTED SHY GUY KNOCK OFFS!!!"

Link: "Huh? Who dares interrupt my thinking time?"

Link then finds the voice and sees two octorocks attacking a hat with a bird's head on it.

Link: "Never fear, citizen, for I, Link am...wait...where is he? All their is here is a green hat with a bird's head on it..."

Hat: "And that hat just happens to be in danger of being killed by things that came from a Mario game! Now dont just stand their, HEEEEEEELLLLPPP MEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

Link: "AAAAAAHHHHH!!! IT TALKS!!!!! THAT SCARES ME MORE THAN THE OCTOROCKS!!! Well anyway, I guess I will help you..."

X-Tornado_75: "Ive read a lot of fanfics, but this is probably the weirdest one I have ever read in the history of fanfics"

Link kills both the octorocks.

Hat: "Thank you kind sir! My name is Ezlo!"

Link: "Hi Ezlo, Im Link! Right now Im on a quest to find the Picori so that they can fiz a broken sword so I have to go now."

Ezlo: "Wait...do you mean the legendary Picori Blade?"

Link: "Yes! Why do you ask?"

Ezlo: "I can help you find the Picori!"

Link: "YAY!!!!! Can you come with me then?"

Ezlo: "Shure!"

Link: "HOORAY! NOW I HAVE A NEW FRIEND!!! Come with me, NEW FRIEND!"

Link takes five steps.
Ezlo: "Wait up! Im NOT THAT FAST! I HAVE NO LEGS!"
Link then slows down a little, but Ezlo is still behind.
Ezlo: "WAIT UP!!!"
Link: "Why arent you that fast again?"
Ezlo: "I just told you that I have no legs because im a hat, genius."
Link: "oh yah...I forgot..."
Ezlo: "You arent that smart, are you?"
Link: "I dont know..."
Ezlo: "You've proven my point.
Link then walks again.
Ezlo: "STOP!!! OH FOR PETE'S SAKE, YOU CANT BE THAT STUPID!!!"
Cosmo: "Who is Pete? Someone I should know about?"
Ezlo: "Wait! I have an idea!"
Ezlo then jumps onto Link's head.

Ezlo: "Finally! Why didnt I think of this before?"

Link: "Hey! Your Kind of Comfy! I shall keep you on my head, new friend!"

Ezlo: "Ummmm..."

Link: "Your even comfy enough to dance it!"

Mr.Six (the old guy from six flags' commercials) comes and the music from the commercials starts to play. Mr. Six and Link then dance.

Ezlo: "What have I gotten myself into?"

HyruleGirl9: "1, you havent even come close to seeing how bad he can get, and 2, shut up because your ruining my ending."

Link: "I AM LINK: THE LORD OF THE DANCE!!!!!"

narrator: What HAS Ezlo gotten him self into? Will Cosmo find out who Pete is? Find this out and more in the next chapter

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